2 friends of mine who have 3080ti both have very very different OC, one can easy hit 3000, the other one barely touch 2200, after that he get same errors you get, so crashes, gpu driver errors and so on.
I also have right the same problem on my 3070ti which is very fragile, and more than 2200 cause crashes. One of those 2 friends of mine also have 3070ti and he mine at 2600 on memory.
This is just the classic silicion lottery unfortunately you can’t do anything about that, it’s just unfortune.
Try running your at 2100 on memory and look at mh it produces, if you are in range of 88-91 mh you are ok, otherwise increase memory clock by 25-point-steps. That’s all.
One good thing to do is the replace thermal pads, but those do not actually compromise the hashpower, at least at the very beginning